shining darkness.

i'm just simply tired. i just need someone to listen to all my bullshits problems. they promised me they'll be there for me. yet now? broken promises again & again.
i just wish to live one day without all my problems. i just wish to have someone always there for me. i just wish i could just tell everyone i'm tired & break down. but i can't. :/
i just wish i could just pick up the blade. but i know i can't break my promises. but why do they can just easily break their promises towards me.
♡9days clean♡
' use pain to erase pain '
i'm just scare i can't control myself & pick up the blade. and 9days will just be gone. >< can someone understand my feelings? i know everyone has their own problems to handle, i don't requires they'll everyday put down their problems just to handle mine. i just want someone to listen to my problems. is it very hard?