deep inside her heart.

-short post after so long-
what're promises when in the end you're still going to break it?
idk how many people had promised me they won't leave me like how others do yet in the end, they still left.
left me alone to face my problems alone.
you blamed me for being too unreasonable, bossy, selfish. but have you ever thought why would i came to this stage? it's because whenever im too caring to those i really treasure, they all left me in the end. you understand the pain? the pain caused. i know. ill never be good enough for anyone. but im not perfect. nobody's prefect. maybe there's. but im me. stop comparing me with others. with her.
spare a thought for me please?
sometimes you don't know but your words can killed someone. though it's a joke.
and even though i doesn't show it, deep inside, ill always remember what you had said.
i had enough. can i just break down and tell others im tired. but others will be like ' tired of what? attention seeker. ' -.-

shining darkness.

i'm just simply tired. i just need someone to listen to all my bullshits problems. they promised me they'll be there for me. yet now? broken promises again & again.
i just wish to live one day without all my problems. i just wish to have someone always there for me. i just wish i could just tell everyone i'm tired & break down. but i can't. :/
i just wish i could just pick up the blade. but i know i can't break my promises. but why do they can just easily break their promises towards me.
♡9days clean♡
' use pain to erase pain '
i'm just scare i can't control myself & pick up the blade. and 9days will just be gone. >< can someone understand my feelings? i know everyone has their own problems to handle, i don't requires they'll everyday put down their problems just to handle mine. i just want someone to listen to my problems. is it very hard?

♡sexylicious team'13♡

decided to blog about my sexylicious team'13 after seeing lixuans' blog. ♡
so, we had already spent 6-7 months together already, we get really bonded now compared to the past. although there's still some teammates disliking each other, but we're still considered as bonded? just because of small things, we quarrelled alot in the past. although now there's still quarrels, but we had learnt to open your heart & accept your teammates for who they're. x
and, thanks to the seniors that tolerate our bad attitude towards them. i hope there'll not be anymore ' seniors&juniors fight ' anymore. learnt to appreciate each other for who they're.
on 5July, we had a ' talk ' with the seniors. we had cleared all the misunderstanding & had a team hug. ♡ lets have more team hugs next time, alright? :3
to my teammates♡, lets continue to work hard together! although training are really tough, coach is really unreasonable, we, as a team, go through it together, alright? lixuan, jiayou in your studies, the team welcomes you back anytime! Queenie, jiayou in your east zone match! all the best! (y) and, i really appreciate everyone for who they're. i love every single one of you. ♡ muackkksss. :*
to my seniors♡ , jiayou for your east zone matchh! i think i'll be there to support you guys de. (y) all the best. all your juniors believe you guys can do it. (y) and, thanks for everything you guys had done. i love every single one of you! ♡ muacckkksss. :*